Kinky Friedman, a 62-year-old Jewish cowboy turned singer and thriller writer, is one of Texas' most famous and colourful figures. He has a string of hit songs to his credit, including They Ain't Making Jews Like Jesus Any More. In 2006 he stood as an independent in the election for governor, and came fourth with 13% of the vote.

I speed-read his book of essays, Texas Hold-'Em, in the library today. I thought you might enjoy the following adapted extract.

You know you're from Texas if

• Your TV has 897 channels, but you don't have indoor plumbing
• You allow your 12-year-old daughter to smoke at the dinner table, in front of her kids
• You mow your grass and find three cars
• You've been married and divorced five times, but you still have the same in-laws
  
• You have to take a packed lunch when you drive to your roadside mailbox
• Your nearest neighbour is in a different timezone
• You encounter four other cars on a 200-mile stretch of highway and complain about the traffic jam
• Your dog can keep his balance while perched atop a toolbox in the back of a pickup truck going 70 mph in a hailstorm.

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